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20 January 2010

The Next Season Of Survivor

THE
NEXT SURVIVOR

SERIES
Six married men
will be dropped on an island with one car and

3 kids
each for six weeks.


Each kid will play two sports

and take either music or
dance classes.


There is no fast food.


Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,

correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook
,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.



In
addition, each man

will have to budget in money
for groceries each week.



Each man
must remember the birthdays

of all their friends and relatives,
and
send cards out on time--no emailing.


Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,

a dentist appointment

and a haircut appointment.


He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient
visit per child to the Urgent
Care.


He must also make cookies or cupcakes

for a social function.



Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,


planting flowers outside,
and keeping it
presentable at all times.


The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep
and all chores are done.



The men must shave their legs,


wear makeup daily
,

adorn
themselves
with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes
,

keep fingernails polished,


and
eyebrows groomed


During
one of the six weeks,

the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, head aches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.



They must attend weekly school meetings and
church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.



They will need to read a book to the kids
each
night and in the morning,

feed them
,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:00 am.


A test
will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be
required to know all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.


The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's
notice.


If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

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